Sunday, March 6, 2016

On those “milestone days” in one’s life

I’ve always thought that on those “milestone days” in one’s life, a person should celebrate the occasion the way that pleases them most.  I’m approaching one of those and, I must say, that I’m a little dismayed at how much posturing I’ve already seen related to what other people want, in “celebration” of the occasion.  Maybe I’m being unrealistic; I don’t know.  But it seems to me that on those kinds of days, the person who’s celebrating the occasion should be encouraged and supported to do so in a way that’s most meaningful to them.

For me, that means to be surrounded by family and friends to the greatest extent possible.  But what happens when family and friends don’t seem to agree on the right way to celebrate the occasion, or who should be invited?  I’m conflicted about either trying to satisfy them (because they all mean a lot to me) or doing things the way that I would prefer – at the end of the day, I’m the one celebrating and, perhaps selfishly, I would really prefer to do it my way.

I’ve spent most of my life working to take care of my family.  Both my family and my friends are important to me --  they are the fiber of who I am.  Without family and friends, it would just be me against the world – and that doesn’t seem like a good position to be in.  I really don’t want to upset or offend anyone but, at the same time, I have to admit that it bothers me greatly that the people who are closest to me are trying to manipulate how I chose to celebrate and/or who I should celebrate with. For some reason, they seem to think that 'they' should have input into who's being invited, which is something that never crossed my mind. It's also a position that I find unconscionable.   

I never would have guessed that planning to celebrate such an occasion could be so stressful.  It’s depressing as hell.  I recognize that everyone has their own life, agenda, and goals but, in my mind, this day should be about celebrating something that is relevant and important to me.  It seems to be too much to ask to suggest that everyone put their personal agenda aside for one day and just help me have a great day, doing the things I love, surrounded by the friends and family that I love.

I guess I’m just too old school….